For personal reasons, I am going to back off of writing for a while. I assure you it is all good. I need to focus on some other things for a while. I may post every once in a while, but it will be relatively infrequently. I know that some day I will get back to writing more frequently again. Stay tuned! The blog will still be here.
I recommend subscribing to my RSS feed to view my blogs rather than just checking every once in a while. My RSS feed subscription link is in the bar at the bottom of your screen – it looks like a one-quarter, all-black rainbow.
… you know that I have hit a bump in the road.
I think I have gotten over the bump. We’ll see. Of course, all bumps in the road will eventually lead to other bumps in the road – that is assuming you stay on the road. It is one of the things that you come to expect is a natural by-product of driving!
Sometimes I just don’t like writing at these times. Inevitably, I turn a corner, and everything is all better again! Going to my church every Sunday helps, too! I am looking forward to starting my Foundations class at Creative Living Fellowship. I have canceled on it twice in the past due to work commitments, but I am committed to following through this time!
Part of the reason I am beyond the “bump” is because of a workshop I attended today. I will have more on that later.
Namaste
Through the years, I’d been involved in a few social networking sites. Among them was Yahoo Groups which was great while the group I was with was active. Soon, the activity level dropped, and it was just a matter of time before I lost interest. I’d tried classmates.com for a short time – but it just wasn’t worth the money as no one else was paying for it, nor were they very active. Myspace.com just seemed to be a total waste of time to me. I joined Facebook because my Mom needed some help uploading pictures to her Facebook page, and I saw that it seemed like a great way for me to look at the pictures she posted. In turn, I thought I could post some pictures of my own. It wasn’t until shortly after I joined that I started connecting with old classmates and friends that I really began to see the benefits of this site.
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Over the past couple of months, I have questioned what my purpose was in writing this blog. When I was playing and writing about poker, I had a pretty decent following of around 50-100 visitors per day. With this blog, I have found that I average about 3-5 visitors per day. That is quite a difference! It was enough to make me wonder, “Why am I doing this?”
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A few months back, shortly after I started messing around with Facebook, I connected with an acquaintance from elementary school. In an email to him, I essentially apologized for being a bully when I was in elementary school. When I was in elementary school, I have it seared in my brain that I was a bad kid because I took care of my problems with my fists. If someone made fun of me too much, I hit him. Well, his reply hit me like a ton of bricks. He said, “That’s strange, I don’t remember you that way at all. I remember you being one of the nicest guys in our class.”
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When I was playing poker, I used to joke that, “Poker is my wife… I mean my life.” Little did I realize the truth I spoke. Have you ever heard the term, “I trade you very much?” as opposed to “I love you very much?” I don’t know if he is the originator of the term, but I think the first time I heard it was from Greg Baer’s book “Real Love.” Admittedly, I have never finished the book, but after attending my first Real Love meeting, I have moved it to the top of my reading list. I have moved more than 15 times since 2000, so I have basically stopped unpacking my boxes (I know I am all over the place in this first paragraph – it will all come together!). After I got back from my meeting, I looked at the stack of boxes I have in the garage of the home where I rent a room. I knew that somewhere in those boxes, I would find the book I’d started, but never finished. I spotted a box that I knew had some of my books and opened it. “Real Love” was right on top! It was like it knew I was going to be needing it.
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When you chose to write goals for 2010, some of you neglected to do one very important thing – Make your goals measurable and something you can control. I know this because I have been reading many blogs by others who took the time to make new goals for the year 2010.
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As regular readers of my blog might remember, I am working on my quickness to anger. With the help of my own continued focus on my behavior, I have really made a lot of headway, but I am also noticing that I have a lot of work to do. Last week had been a real test of my willpower. I have had a muscle spasm in my back since New Year’s Eve. Thankfully, I had a prescription refill available for me through the pharmacy. However, the medicine, when I have been taking it, has made me not only tired and groggy, but also cranky. This is not a good way to feel when you have your six year old son around.
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So here we are – two days into the new year, and some of you are already pitching your resolutions into the veritable dust pile of previous New Year’s Resolutions. Some of you probably had a thought process that went something like this – “Okay, what New Year’s Resolution am I going to break this year?” That is the way I have done it in the past. However, this year something has to give if I am truly going to move forward from here. I am sure some of your are feeling the same way.
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I attended a service at my church, Creative Living Fellowship, some months ago where my minister, Rev. Michele Whittington, discussed the eight levels of pain. At the time of this service, I was deep in the throes of a gambling addiction and I could tell that I had reached the lowest levels of pain imaginable. Michele’s sermon validated my beliefs. With so many other sermons, I had been able to twist her words and make it seem like what I was doing with my poker playing was actually good for me. Now I had something concrete to show me that what I was experiencing was not healthy.
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